Exploring Authentic Relating

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WHAT ARE 'AUTHENTIC RELATING' GAMES & PRACTICES ALL ABOUT?

Fascinating (and often fun) exercises in connection, communication, presence, intuition and feeling. To discover and integrate more of our deeper selves, via engaging and reflecting with others. So we can experience empowered and fulfilling lives and relationships. An opportunity to meet more deeply, develop our confidence and fluency in Authentic Relating (A.R.), and build conscious community with others interested in questions like: 'Who the heck am I really?' and 'What's this thing called 'relationships' really all about?'

This is social, non-pressured, and gently exploratory. No familiarity with A.R. is required, although it is recommended to already have at least a little experience in some form of rich self-inquiry (and know you already like - and want more of - that).

At each of these workshops we present a range of A.R. Games/Practices from the international repertoire, Such as:

* Anybody Else?

* The Noticing Game

* On the Spot

* The Curiosity Game (which has SO many versions)

* Talking without Words

- To name just a few :)

IS THIS A FUN TIME, OR IS IT EDGY SELF-EXPLORATION?

These events can totally be both. Lots of people really love and enjoy the Games Nights as highlights of their social calendars. Others find them edgy but satisfying, and love the solid sense of progress in starting to live and express in more congruent ways in the world.

Some games/exercises are playful, some introspective, some light, and others deep. Even the most fun ones help us look a bit more 'under the hood' of who we truly are. (The more fully we know ourselves, the more fully expressed we can be, and the more satisfying our relationships become.)

As well as being fascinating and evolutionary, the journey sometimes uncovers old challenges or emotional edges that are wanting to be faced. So as fun as we make things, your idea of 'fun' needs to include the awesome curious journey of sometimes facing our shadows.

WHAT DO PEOPLE GET OUT OF EXPLORING A.R.?

Being more fully expressed is not about ‘feeling a bit better’. It is SO much more than that!

Fluency and experience in A.R. typically leads to:

* More satisfying and rich personal relationships,

* Self-acceptance (letting go of the inner critic conditioning that holds us back),

* Greater self-confidence, and stronger presence and intuition,

* Expanded somatic intelligence/awareness,

* Building community and conscious social interactions,

* Discovering personal qualities and potential that you never even knew you had!

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THE FAQ

Please read this once - before the first time you book to attend.

Q: Is this suitable for someone who isn't socially confident?

A: Often yes. Depends on the person. We've seen many people arrive at events with big challenges around confidence and self-expression, and make HUGE advances over time. Even the edgier Meisner Technique trainings draw a large proportion of people who consider themselves socially very nervous, and then develop much greater confidence. Nonetheless there is some kind of 'X' factor in having the courage to come along a few times and give it all a go. What we can offer for definite is empathy and inclusion for anyone who can step into that. Nobody is left 'on the outer' while others take over the event.

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Q: Is this an Improv Games/Party Games event?

A: No. The simple warm-ups and warm-downs can be very basic fun Improv Games - but the main content isn't. Everything is facilitated, so nobody is ever left not knowing what to do. Some events feel very fun and social, and others feel more 'workshoppy'. The difference depends the alchemy of each group. Most exercises are small-group or paired practices communicating verbally and/or somatically. They vary a lot, but here’s a video of a classic one as an example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byQ_J9COFCU

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Q: Will I ever be required to say something vulnerable/edgy that I'd prefer not to?

A: Absolutely NOT. A.R. is not ‘Radical Honesty’ (though that is a fascinating field). We believe the deepest personal evolution occurs when people travel at their own edges, not at ones imposed on them. If anyone ever wants to say ‘how they feel about a question’ instead of answering  it, or to ‘pass’, that is absolutely part of A.R. as far as we are concerned.

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Q: Is this ‘therapy’?

A: No it isn’t. Therapy tries to identify, categorize and manage specific challenges. A.R. is an experiential practice of bringing presence and attention to our interactions with others, to see what we discover. People who explore A.R. ongoingly typically find incredible lasting healing of developmental wounds/restrictions. This is a magical and common organic benefit, but not an active focus/goal.

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Q: Specifically, is this trauma therapy?

A: No it isn’t. A.R. absolutely can assist some people to work through trauma residues, which is another wonderful natural benefit. However, people with severe untreated trauma or on high-strength medications are probably not a good fit for AR Games events.

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Q: Is there a typical age-range?

A: Yes, but quite a wide one. A.R. - as we offer it - seems to suit people aged mid-20s to 50s. This isn’t a prohibitive rule, just something we’ve observed.

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Q: What is Authentic Relating based on?

A: Humanistic Psychotherapy, Conflict Resolution, Relationship Therapies, Trauma Therapies, Non-Violent Communication., Conscious Community Skills… The list goes on, and every facilitator has their own unique personal background and history that they bring.

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Q: Some games look quite simple. Can anyone run them?

A1: With small groups of close friends or 1:1 where you already have trust and closeness and *everyone* taking part is keen and congruent to look deeper into the nature of self, then anyone with good basic facilitation skills likely could.

Just be realistically aware that these exercises work!! They are not some new gimmicky 'system' that just provides 'some experiences'. They actually open us to know ourselves and others deeper. Even with close friends, sometimes challenging edges can arise. 

A2: It is essential to have a lot of personal experience in A.R. (and ideally training) before offering public events. 

The exercises are about (gently) examining our hidden edges. Without training and trauma-awareness it can be impossible to reassure and support a triggered person who doesn't already have a solid personal connection with you. Just being caring isn't necessarily enough if someone doesn't have the calm practical skills to be present for another with an emotional/trauma trigger.

Just to clarify, big painful triggers only very rarely arise in the A.R. Games events. Yet all emotions are welcomed, and other feelings can quite often move. The biggest challenge for an inexperienced facilitator can be that once in a blue moon something old and painful can arise from someone's buried somatics. If you are used to supporting people with such things, then that can be embraced and supported within the event. A problem can occur though if a stranger who is a participant happens to hit some deep stuff. A hobby facilitator without training in counselling or trauma-awareness isn't necessarily going to have the skills for the basic duty-of-care required in such exceptional (but crucially important) moments.